“FBoy Island,”‘s latest reality dating show, challenged contestants’ judgment by having women sort through 24 men and weed out 12 self-identified “f— boys” to find love.
Throughout the series, the women were tasked with eliminating the bad eggs, but two contestants chose f— boys as their final choice.
There isn’t an agreed-upon definition of a FBoy, as the show calls them. Two therapists told Insider most Fboys are emotionally unavailable, lack inner accountability, and view relationships as purely transactional.
Though you may not be able to pinpoint a Fboy every time, there are subtle signs you’re dating one.
Your conversations remain surface-level no matter how much time passes
It’s normal to keep dates fun and flirty when you’re getting to know a new person.
But if you notice you can’t delve deeper than surface-level banter after a handful of dates, it could mean you’re seeing a F-boy, therapist Darcy Sterling, host of E! Network’s Famously Single and creator of the new online course, Jealousy Boot Camp, told Insider.
She said emotional unavailability can stem from fear, insecurity, or past trauma, which makes a person hesitant to open up to someone new.
An F-boy may feel this way under the surface and learn to grow, said Sterling. But if they show no interest in changing, it could mean they’re stuck in their ways.
“He can be completely open to finding a partner, but if he already has it in his head that there is no future with you but he still wants you around to hook up, he will probably act like a f— boy,” Sterling said.
A Fboy says the right thing exactly when you want to hear it
According to Kelly Scott, a therapist at Tribeca Therapy in New York City, Fboys also navigate dating in a transactional manner.
“Whenever there is a choice, they choose themselves and they choose what works for them,” Scott told Insider.
She said a Fboy may act kind or nice to you in specific situations where they see a potential opportunity for themselves. When they don’t see the opportunity, however, they may act cold, or refuse to understand your perspective.
If you feel like a suitor’s good behavior always has a motive, it could mean they’re a Fboy, according to Scott.
You focus on the excitement of being with them to justify feeling used
Physical attraction is an important aspect of a romantic connection.
But if it’s the bedrock of your relationship and you use feelings of excitement to justify feeling unimportant, it could mean you should move on, said Scott.
She added that people may see dating a FBoy as “sexy and exciting and thrilling, but it’s really under-protective and self-harming.”
She said paying attention to your intuition when you have a negative experience, and realizing you have the power to end the unhealthy dynamic, can help.